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We all know that searching “self-care” on Instagram or TikTok can leave you more overwhelmed than inspired. There’s a lot of content out there, from 12 step skin-care to full-blown 5 a.m. routines, and while it all looks lovely, it doesn’t always feel realistic or relatable.
So if you’re wondering how to actually start a self-care routine that makes sense for your life (and not someone else’s), you’re in the right place.
This isn’t about doing what looks good online. It’s about creating a self-care rhythm that’s sustainable, personalised, and supportive of your mental, emotional, and physical well-being.
This is a framework that I have used time and again in different seasons of my life. Here’s how to start.
What Even Is Self-Care, Really?
One of the first definitions you’ll find when you Google “self-care” is this:
“Self-care is a conscious act people take to promote their physical, mental, spiritual, and emotional health.”
And that really is it in a nutshell.
But here’s how I like to define it:
Self-care is the act of doing activities or practices that recharge you, bring you peace, and help you stay grounded—especially when life feels a little chaotic.
It’s not about escaping your life. It’s about supporting yourself within your life.
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Step 1: Assess Your Needs
Before you even think about ice baths and complicated routines, pause. Ask yourself:
- How do I feel emotionally, from 1 to 10?
- Am I mentally drained or sharp?
- Is my body asking for rest, movement, or something else?
When we try to fix everything at once, we end up doing… nothing. So focus on just three key areas to start:
Mental, emotional, and physical wellbeing.
Step 2: Understand Your Time & Energy
You can have the most beautiful routine written down… but if it doesn’t match your current schedule or capacity, it’s not going to stick.
Look at your life right now. Ask:
- What does my typical day look like?
- When do I have the most energy?
- What time of day feels right for a moment of care?
Whether it’s five minutes or an hour, work with what you have—not what you wish you had. That’s the secret to making it sustainable.
Step 3: Choose 2–3 Things You Love
Yes, you. Not Pinterest. Not your favourite YouTuber. You.
Pick just two or three activities that genuinely make you feel happy, calm, or at peace. Think small but meaningful:
- Reading a book
- Dancing in your room
- Going for a walk
- Making your favourite tea
- Doing a skincare routine you actually enjoy
These don’t need to be revolutionary—they just need to feel good to you. Starting with what’s familiar helps you build momentum without the overwhelm of learning something new from scratch.
Step 4: Ease Them into Your Day or Week
Don’t try to flip your entire routine overnight. This is a lifestyle shift, not a one-time project.
Start slow. Maybe you:
- Journal for 5 minutes with your morning coffee
- Do some light stretching before bed
- Take a herbal tea break (yes, that counts. Mine is a non-negotiable!)
It doesn’t have to happen daily at first. Just enough that it begins to feel like a natural part of your life.
Step 5: Give Yourself Time to Adjust
Perfectionists, this one’s for you (and yes, I’m calling myself out too).
You don’t have to do your routine perfectly every single day. The goal is to support yourself—not to turn self-care into another thing to tick off or feel guilty about.
Some days you’ll skip it. Some weeks will feel off. That’s okay.
What matters is coming back to it. Gently. Consistently. With grace.
Step 6: Don’t Copy and Paste Someone Else’s Routine
This one’s important. What works for someone else might completely drain you and vice versa.
Self-care should be customised, not copy-pasted.
Take inspiration if you’d like, but don’t force yourself into a routine that doesn’t match your current season of life. Your needs are valid. Your preferences matter. And your routine should reflect that.
You’re Ready to Build Your First Real Self-Care Routine
Here’s a quick recap of what to do:
- Assess your mental, emotional, and physical needs
- Check in with your time and energy levels
- Pick 2–3 things you genuinely love doing
- Start implementing them slowly
- Give yourself space to adjust
- Stay true to yourself, no copying
Once you’ve done that, congrats! You’ve just created your first self-care routine draft. And like anything in life, it’s allowed to evolve with you. Reflect, adjust, repeat.
If you’re ready to take your self-care to the next level, I’ve created some helpful resources to guide you, including text courses, planners, and routines tailored to help you get started with your self-care routine and feel like yourself again. Check them out here.
And if this post resonated with you, share it with someone who needs a little self-care encouragement today
